Criminals, generally, are not the brightest bulb on the string.
I can say this after a lot of years of covering cops, courts and just general reporting. But, the bad guys actually think they are smarter than the rest of us chumps -- you know, those of us that work for a living, pay our bills, are respectful of other people and just want to build a good life built on hard work and respect.
Take my burglar. At the end of March, an investigator with the Elgin Police Department came to me with some info that made me deliriously happy. Steven T. Luellen, 31, of Elgin, was being charged with my burglary from back in August.
Mr. Luellen thought he was smart, too. He apparently put on latex gloves so he wouldn't leave fingerprints as he sliced my screen open, pushed a fan out of his way, and entered my apartment. He also probably thought he was being pretty smart when he put the chain on the door. If someone tried to come in while he was in the apartment, he could get away before someone got in.
But you can't cure stupid, Mr. Luellen (who of course is at this point just a suspect because he is innocent until proven guilty). He managed to leave one of those latex gloves behind on my windowsill. Because Luellen has a very long criminal history, his DNA was already in the Illinois police database.
He was already in lockup when the state crime lab finally, after six months, tested that latex glove for DNA. He had violated his bond on an earlier domestic battery case -- a charge that came about two weeks after my burglary. There is nothing quite so blood pressure-raising as to see your burglar at bond call.
Oh, and did I mention that the second my neighbors called and told me I had been burglarized -- when I was in North Dakota at my aunt's funeral -- I knew that Luellen was the only person that it could have been? He had a long criminal history, was living on the couch of the bimbo upstairs, and was already pissed because I called him out for attempting to steal my cable, and in the process cutting my cable and internet? I had a feeling he was still a little pissed that I told him, in front of friends, to never talk to me, try to make contact, or knock at my door, or I would call the cops.
So anyway, once Luellen was charged for my burglary, his bail was set at $500,000. Can I get a hell yeah! He's not going anywhere for a while.
But now, he is starting in with the games. And thus comes the title of this post. I can wait this out too, Buddy. I am Norwegian and a Walker. That just spells bitchy, stubborn and tenacious.
I missed at least one of the initial court appearances because the file was sealed. It was sealed because he'd gotten let out on the bail bond violation the day before Elgin went to charge him on my burglary ... anyway, long story short, the case file is still not available through the clerks system. But I can look it up his appearance dates on the jail's website.
Luellen asked for a speedy trial and the state was all ready to offer him a deal. Seven years -- which means he would get out in three or so.
Yeah, I am not OK with that. I told the prosector that I am not OK with that. I am not OK with a plea deal and I am not OK with seven years. I am OK with somewhere between 10 and 15 -- 15 being the max for Rez Burg.
Then, the prosecutor had a new idea. If Luellen came up with at least one piece of the jewelry he'd taken, I wouldn't push for a trial and let the plea happen. That piece of jewelry is the Black Hills Gold necklace my Mom bought me when I was 17. My mom worked an extra job cleaning a jewelry store so she could buy some nice pieces. She bought me the necklace, wrapped it, and put it under the Christmas tree. Then it disappeared from under the tree. Mom the worked MORE hours so she could get it for me again. And this SOB took it.
But guess what, he won't cough up the necklace, or my class ring, or any of the other pieces he took. So guess what. I work for a newspaper. I have a blog. I have more than 200 Facebook friends who live in Elgin. And I just became a bitch.
So his latest game, a favorite for some in the Kane County Jail, is to fire his public defender and hire a private attorney. Not sure how he will pay for that, unless the gang he's a member of plans to pay for it. So when that money runs out, he will go back to the public defender -- and so on and so on to drag out the trial.
But guess what. I have seen this game. I have access to ink. Lots of it. And I will not let you get away with it, either.
