Mac life

I just figured out how to sync my G4 monitor (circa 1999) with my MacBook and I am deliriously happy about that.

Just saying.

How to act in public

Since Emily has been on my case about not blogging ....

This isn't a new thought, as it's been floating around the blogosphere for the past 24 hours, but ... Whatever happened to common courtesy? To good manners? To "Do unto others..."? Because the lack of civility has gotten ridiculous.

But it is much more basic than Rep. Joe "LIAR" Wilson's outburst, Serena's hissy fit, or Kanye showing that once again, Kanye cannot be invited anywhere with a stage if it's not one of his concerts.

(Why do I picture Wilson in a witch hat, running around a kitchen yelling "Liar, Liar!")

Perhaps it is something pathological with Kanye, his inability to stay in his seat or backstage at an awards show. He may just have "foot-in-mouth" disease.

I have some "foot-in-mouth" problems myself.  It is genetic -- neither mom nor dad were ever very good at inner dialogue. I am working on that, learning to sometimes not say what I am thinking ... but, I would never dream of going up on stage if something didn't go the way I wanted it to, or yelling when it wasn't my turn to speak.

(I come from a Pentecostal church, I have no problem with an "amen" or  "preach it" now and then, but that is expected and encouraged in church.)

Many people haven't learned how to comment when the time is appropriate, however. During the hundreds or more of board meetings I've sat through, I've learned to sit on my hands and roll my eyes when people make outbursts when they really shouldn't have.  I have seen people stand up and yell, or raise their hands and start talking away, in the middle of about every possible public meeting, forum, or court situation. My personal favorite are the people who yell at a board during public comments and get mad about not getting the answer they want right that second. 

Sigh. 

To some extent, I think it is just a lack of education when someone raises their hand or yells out a comment when the city council or village board is discussing a topic, particularly controversial ones. Perhaps it is because they see these people at the grocery store or at church on Sunday and don't see them as "officials." Or, maybe those not used to being at a board meeting of any kind don't understand the difference between an open forum, a town hall meeting or a board discussion.

So, here is a primer for a typical Monday night board meeting:

• If you have something to say to the village board, city council, school board, etc.; then please, go to the meeting. When you get there, check the table near the door to see if there is a sign-in to speak list. Write your name legibly, for Pete's sake, too.
• Some boards put their public comment portion of the meeting at the beginning of the meeting, the end of the meeting, or both. Some have one spot for commenting on things that are on the agenda, and another for general comments. Figure out which public comment forum is the one you want and sign up accordingly. (Of course in Elgin, the council won't let the public speak about anything that is on the agenda. That is a huge injustice to the citizenry, but not my topic, either.)
• Some boards give speakers three minutes to say their peace, others five, others do not make a limit. Whichever it is, please stick to it or be cognizant of the time. I know it seems unfair to stop early when your axe needs grinding, but some of those agendas are bears and can stretch past midnight.  The board members have lives, jobs and families and would like to get their work done and go home, too. These people are not paid by the hour, or paid at all. (Oh, and the reporters would like to make deadline, so if you could wrap up what you have to say, we'd appreciate it. Maybe even get a quote in the paper from you.)
• This is not a debate between you and the board. So quit yelling "Tell me right now why my street hasn't gotten swept all summer!!" during your three-minute time slot. The mayor or administrator has your name now, give them at least until mid-morning the next day to figure out what is going on and give you the answer you want. And guess what, sometimes, you won't like that answer.
• If you are commenting on a public hearing, there is probably a court reporter making a transcript. She or he may need your name and address FOR THE RECORD. Because of case law in Illinois, most planning and zoning public meetings must have transcripts, and your rant may be used against the village if for some reason it goes to court. So don't be stupid and say something you'd regret reading in print later.
• Once public comment has ended and you've said your peace, now is the time to shut up and listen. If there is something said by a board member or administrator later in the meeting that you disagree with, is it really appropriate to start yelling? Would you do that in a courtroom if you didn't like what the judge just said? Only if you want to get charged with contempt. Would you do that in church if you disagreed with the pastor's stance something? A board meeting should be treated the same. 
• If you REALLY have issues with something that is said at a meeting, or the following vote, then there are a few ways to deal with it rather than yelling and swearing on your way out to the lobby to complain with everyone else. 

1. Call, write or e-mail those who voted contrary to your position and tell them your point of view again. Show your support for those whose vote echoed your opinions by voting for them the next time around.
2. Keep on attending board meetings and use the open forum time to continue to share your thoughts. It does work.
3. Run for the office yourself the next time around. Really. Because that is the only way in our government to make sure every vote goes the way you hoped it would. Not the total outcome, of course, but you can control how one vote will fall.

Again, just a primer. But if people would follow the same rules for, oh, say a health care forum, maybe the discussion could be a bit more civil and thought out, not just a bunch of blowhards seeing who can yell the loudest.

Coming next in the "where has civility gone" I will pontificate on teaching your kids to act proper in public, respect adults, and pull up your damn pants already.